Archive for the ‘work’ Category
Cisco’s Official iPosition
The explanation of the lawsuit, along with some other interesting facts has been posted in the Cisco Newsroom.
Does this constitute C-blocking?
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Well that didn’t take very long…
On the heels of Apple’s iPhone debut, Cisco releases it’s new “iSueYourAss”.
Apparently that little legal agreement that granted Apple the right to use the name “iPhone” (see post below) never got signed by the iLawyer. Oopsie!
And in the interest of full disclosure, I’ve worked with our attorney mentioned in this article. He’s definitely a straight shooter and a very very good lawyer. Good luck, Apple. Feel free to send one of those new little gizmos over this way and maybe I can persuade the bigwigs to call off the dogs. Maybe.
Travel Bingo
I’ve been travelling a lot lately back and forth to Atlanta and San Jose, and if you’ve spent any time in airports, you start to realize that there are distinct groups of people. Yeah yeah yeah, I know everyone is an individual, but I don’t subscribe to that notion. My hypothesis is that everyone in airports belongs to a distinct tribe, or the Diplomats, as I call them, are members of several tribes. Next time you travel, see how many of these folks you can find, and then ask yourself which one YOU are…
For the purposes of this exercise, i may call out specific genders, but the principles apply to either sex.
“Too Much Stuff Guy” – the guy that is constantly juggling his blackberry, iPod, newspaper, bluetooth junk, books, magazines, notepad, laptop, fast food, and luggage. The one carry-on rule never seems to apply.
“Teddy Bear Girl” – The Adult child that feels like she needs to carry a Teddy bear with her onto the plane. Usually accompanied by “Subservient Newleywed Husband”
“Professor Huff-n-Puff” – The guy that repeatedly goes to the counter at the terminal demanding to be upgraded because he has “Super Ultra Platinum Status” and makes everyone around him know how upset he is. Usually combined with the following…
“Self Important Guy” – rather self explanatory, but also classified as “Loud Phone Talker” and “Cut In Front of You Guy”
“Compulsive Cell Phone Guy” – not necessarily self-important, but constantly checking his cell phone just in case someone calls, text messages, etc. If you sit close enough, you can listen in on the phone calls and realize that he has absolutely nothing of value to say and that he is depriving the rest of the airport of valuable oxygen.
“Haggard Mom / Loud Kid” – this dangerous combination should be avoided at all costs. Your best bet is to cast a glance of pity at the Haggard Mom. She didn’t choose this.
“Old Person” – Invariably, the first person down the gangplank that subsequently delays the plane by several minutes. This person also blocks isles, shifts around, and must get up to pee every 10 minutes. They should be stored in cargo.
“Hot Girl” – The elusive creature will never sit next to you, and she may not be all that hot, but you will know who this person is if you watch the eyes of all of the guys on the plane and see who’s boobs they stare at.
“Extreme Sport Guy” – Identified by his graphic tee, tattoo sleeves, cargo shorts, and pre-cancerous tan. Usually very fit, and therefore, more often than not, gay.
“Generic Business Type / MBA” – the 32 year old in the Brooks Brothers suit, power tie, latest Treo. Usually smells very good and sits in first class. Sometimes known as “Self Important Guy”
“Extremely Overweight Person” – Invariably sits next to you, even if 80% of the plane is empty. Needs a seat belt extension. Identifiable by the sideways walk down the plane aisle and the profuse sweating.
“English as 9th Language Person” – Usually travelling with 14 or 15 family members, this person seems to understand the nuances of the English language when it suits them, but never speaks one word…especially not “excuse me”
“Laptopian” – can be any age, sex, or race. Will work on their laptop in the terminal, before takeoff, and as soon as possible after liftoff. The thing I want to know is where they get their laptop batteries. Mine never last for 9 hours.
“Talk to a Wall Guy” – no matter what signals of disinterest you project he continues to speak incessantly. Usually avoided by staring at him and putting on your headphones.
“Hidden Psycho Lady” – characterized by abnormal height or width, the airbrushed wolf sweatshirt, and Pete Rose haircut. Shifty eyes and bad teeth round out this beauty. DO NOT SPEAK TO HER. She will unload a fury of life tragedies, and then feel like you are her life partner. When approached by one, stuff Sky Mall magazine pages down your own throat until you suffocate. It’s less painful.
“Hippie College Student” – Patchouli. Dreds. Doors T-shirt. Thousands of dollars of gadgets in their REI backpack.
B – I – N – G – O
Good luck!
Almost 1/6 of a Year
That’s the amount of time that would have passed if I didn’t update this blog today. So here goes…2 months of updates in a whirlwind of sarcasm and incongruities.
Micaella Mae Young – Born 05.13.06. Look for her on The Apprentice during the 2025 Fall lineup.
I am heading out of the IT world and into Human Resources for a while. Though I’ll still be on the acquisitions team, I’ll be helping with the “business” end, and not the technical applications issues. Could be neat, could be a complete clusterf***…we’ll see.
One night last month we found a small weiner dog roaming the neighborhood. We took it in for the night and brought it to the shelter the next morning. It had a microchip in it and was soon reunited with its family. Here it is compared to my dog:
I started a new site called Musical Toilet. Just visit it, you’ll get the gist. Feel free to contribute as well!
We’re in the process of renovating a new house in the next town. I’ll be setting up a site/gallery soon for all of you DIY-ers that want the insight to a large project.
I’m stopping the update for now, cuz I need to jump on a conference call, but I’ll keep adding throughout the day.
Tags: conference call, renovation
The Danish, The Darkness, and The Dork
I realized only yesterday that my last two blog posts were never published. So instead of posting them, I’ll condense them into this one and get all caught up.
July 18-23: Spent the week in San Jose. If you want to know what happened on the trip, just read any one of my other San Jose trip reports. Same stuff. EXCEPT for the fact that I took the red-eye back on Friday night, so that I could catch Max’s wedding on the 23rd. It was a garden style wedding down in Rhode Island, right on the water. I felt like I fell out of an Ambercrombie ad. It was like being at the Kennedy compound, without all the bleeding hearts.
August 1-5: Copenhagen, Denmark. This was my first trip to Denmark, and unfortunately, due to business, I didn’t have a lot of time to sight-see. However, I never felt more unattractive then when I was walking among the Danish. These folks (men and women) are possibly the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Add to that the fact that they all wear Puma gear. Mrs Nerd was pleased to hear it.
It only took me the full week to realize that “Ny-” is actually pronouced “Noo-” and not “Nee-” (insert Holy Grail joke here). Lots of Danes laughed at me for that one.
I stayed on Nyhaven (NOO-howen) which is smack dab in the touristy center, but it was still beautiful. I found myself sitting at the outdoor cafes for hours drinking Tuborg beer and watching folks. Ah, summer in Europe…it is ze best!
Time to pull out the Rosetta Stone language software and get my Danish on.
(news flash: No, Cisco is not buying Nokia, so stop asking)
Yesterday I realized that it’s good to have an ark ready in the backyard, you know, just in case. We got 3 inches of rain in about 4 hours, lost our power for 12 hours, and thought the massive tree above our house was going to get hit by lightning and crush our living room. A home 4 streets over got hit. Not to get off the subject here, but do you think that only dumb people live in houses that get struck by some act of God, or do you think there is a band of folks that just appear at these catastrophes so they can be interviewd by the news? Why can’t people with decent oratorical skills ever be interviewed by the local news? It’s always “Yeah, it was like wickid dahk, and then we saw like a big blue light, and my Ma was like OH MY GAWD, and then we were like Somethin Musta Happened, so yeah, it was wickid scary.”
Wait, what?
Lastly, I succumbed to the hype and installed Mac OSX on an IBM Thinkpad, you know, just to see. I wrote all about it here, so I’ll save you some time….
Tags: cisco, landscaping, travel
So this is an office?
In an effort to maintain human contact, I decided to venture into the old corporate office today. I could say that the main purpose was to visit old friends and be a good corporate citizen, but mainly, it was to convince myself that I could still FIND the damn place.
After working full time at home for going on 4 years now, my visits to the office are becoming less frequent. Hell, I spend more time in my guest cube in San Jose than I do in my local campus…and that’s 3000 miles away.
6:45 am: Hit snooze for the first time. I normally don’t get out of bed till at LEAST 8:30.
6:54 am: Check with Mrs Nerd to make sure (one more time) that she doesn’t want to get up first.
6:55 am: Curse for the first time today. Quite creatively I might add. Head to the shower.
7:08 am: Showered, dressed, and damn near ready to leave. Yup. Guys are quicker at this stuff than women. Go ahead, debate me. You’ll lose.
7:15 am: Force Mrs Nerd to get out of bed and not be late for her job.
7:18-7:40 am: Walk around the house in a daze, trying to remember what I actually need to bring to the office to be “productive”
7:59 am: Kiss Mrs Nerd goodbye Ricky Ricardo style and hop in the car. I immediately start driving in the wrong direction, mainly because I forget how to get to work (just as I suspected)
8:00-8:40 am: Drive exactly 11 miles of the 54 mile journey. Sit in traffic and remember why I don’t do this every morning. I come up with fantasy names and occupations for the other drivers. There are a lot of fucked up people in the world, lemme tell ya.
9:45 am: Pull into the office parking lot. Yes, you read correctly…1 hour and 45 minutes to get to the office and sit in an uncomfortable chair at a desk designed for midgets.
10:00 am: Realize that the whole trip was pretty much worthless when I see that most of the folks that I cam to visit are no longer with “the company”. So much for a reunion. Lunch anyone?
3:17 pm. Time to hit the road before traffic settles in. Maybe I’ll make it home before 7, gods willing.
And the argument for going into an office everyday is what exactly? Cisco is DEFINITELY getting their money’s worth out of this kid. Back home I go. I’ll check back on this place in the fall.
Maybe.
Tags: cisco